Every day is a new day. Just when you think the fog is clearing, here it comes again. So many unexplained things. Why is it that bad things happen to good people. Why is there heartache in this world. It seems like it happens to the undeserving. Yesterday I was informed that a coworker had to hospitalize her baby boy. What a cutie pie. Poor baby was sick and it was sudden as I saw him last week. When I get to work today we are informed that her child died in the night. 4 months old! What? How? Why? He apparently had a virus and his little body lost the battle. Just hours earlier it was not so grim. Now they couldn't have their baby any longer.
The mother was sedated and hospitalized as would I have been. I can't imagine the loss of my child. One they had to work soooo hard to get. All of your hopes and dreams are gone. The love of their lives gone. Oh the agony. What do you say? How do you comfort? Is there any amount of sorrys that would even touch what this family has to deal with.
How do you go home? How do you empty the diaper pail. How do you clean the bottles? How? Who can do this? It just isn't fair. Everything happens for a reason. Right? I always believe that but what can be the reason for this death. He was a picture of health. Now we have a funeral to attend. How do you pick the coffin? It is too much to think about and I am not anywhere near the blast of this catastrophe.
I feel for this mother. As a mother I know the love. I remember looking down at my newborns and crying just because I made them. My body did this. This perfect creation. I still to this day look at my kids and remind them how I made them. They are from me and dad and are perfect in every way. I love my kids. I am so sad for this mother. I am sorry.
Some of the most beautiful things happened to me when I experienced the loss of my husband of which I'm sure would and could never come close to the loss of a child. The things that I needed to helped me heal...were having someone tell me it was okay that I was sad, angry and okay that I had every emotion run through me. That I didn't need to feel anxiety over having such ugly emotions. to hear I'm there for you and actually be there...makin a meal, cleaning, grabbing tissues or just listening to my heart break in the wee hours of the morning. But the one thing that I held on to was this....my love for that person will always be there in my heart...that my love didn't go away but the person of whom I gave it to merely knew that God needed someone else to recieve it...that my love for them was valuable enough for it to be shared with others and yes my love grew because of it. Our hearts don't break...they just get bigger and stronger and it's the growing pains that hurt...and it's our friends that understand this and help us to get there, even when we feel we don't have that strength. Their pain is your compassion. Their loss is your ability to give. Their weakness is your strenth...use it and give them something to believe in again....love. Muah. hope this helps. Life and love are never easy but definately worth it...for us and for others.
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