It is a truly gloomy day today, the clouds are dark and giving up some sprinkles. Cold enough for me that I can't get my bones warm. Makes me feel as gloomy as it looks outside. I am trying to keep my head in my work and not look up but it is proving to be impossible. I would rather be at home wrapped up in my new quilt reading a book in my big comfy chair that I love so much. There is something about a oversized, overstuffed chair that makes me feel small and young like a kid must in adult sized furniture. I spend most of my liesure time in that chair and I want to be there right now.
Wake up!
I am at work daydreaming, lots to do but my head isn't there yet. I must need to take a minute to clear my head and get focused on my daily duties. My job is a very boring job and if it wasn't for the fact that I can get away for a few minutes at a time to IM a friend or read emails I am not sure if it would be a great choice for me. I am so close to home though. 5 minutes max and being that close and available for my kiddos is what makes me love my job. It is not the work ,as it is not rewarding in any way. I wish I could choose that awesome thing I could do with my life. What would it be? So many options, I would like to open my own restaurant and serve all my favorite recipes that are tried and true. I know it would be a success,but it takes money to make money and money is one thing I do not have.
I would also like to just be a housewife again. That opens up many doors for me that would allow me to explore. Such as my talents in art that have been pushed way to the back of my preverbial closet. All those skills I once had are very dusty and need definate attention. There is no time or space in my life to pull that out right now. Maybe one day when the kids are grown and Jeff has his degree I can stop working, we can downsize greatly and I can get that time to myself to explore all the talents I have hidden in me. Just to not have to feel like I am cramped in a cubicle pushing the same buttons over and over and over and over, day after day after day.
We will get there. We have a plan. A plan for happiness. A plan for the future. One that will make the both of us feel free again from the hum drum life we are in. We are definately sacrificing alot right now so our children can have a good upbringing and not have to suffer too much.
We do have a happy home. Lot's of singing and dancing and shakin that booty in the kitchen. I do not bring my work home. It is not important to me. Not after 5 that is. I like to come home and make my evening as good of one as possible. My kids are funny, like to laugh, tell jokes, cook, dance and sing. they certainly make my long boring day worth while when I make it home. Whether I am in a great mood or not they are so consistent with the love they bring each day as I walk through the door.
Well I am definately feeling a lot better and I guess I am ready to bury my head in the work that is in front of me. Rain, Rain, go away come again some other day. I need the sun to shine on me. Maybe tomorrow.
