When I think about the few true friends I do have, and how protective I feel about them it becomes almost maternal in some way. I can't stand to see any of them hurt or make truly bad decisions. I have spent years with these people, who have carved a nice comfy spot in my heart. Time away doesn't seem to change anything. You reconnect and you know.
I have many diferent types of friends in my life all very different in there own unique way. Ages vary from the youngest of my friends being 16 (Poopie) and the oldest, oh I dont even know. I have always been very guarded about who I let in my life. I don't really need "new" friends. I have some of the best as it is. So what could someone new offer.
In my opinion old friends are the greatest. They know you and love you know matter what you look like that day or what kinda crappy mood you are in. It is all understood. In my experience and with my sorted past I definately can't afford to have friends that might judge me in any way. That may be why I don't make a lot of new friends. There are those special few that do creep in, and before you know it you have a new friend. But you know even those people seem in some way like you have known them longer than you have. It is a natural progression,no thought to it at all.
I like looking forward to seeing my friends. I like the anticipation of having a really good time together even if it is nothing but a wild goose chase car ride looking for ghosts from our past. Too many cigarrettes that leaves your throat burning and your clothes reeking. Was it fun? Yeah! Would I do it again? In a sec.
I guess my point today after reading a friends blog. Pain and sorrow transfers to me when I feel kindred with another. I am sorry for the sadness and resentment and the raw emotion that comes from those words I read. I can not comprehend the pain . I am sorry for the pain and wish there was something as simple as a scooby-doo bandaid that could fix it.
I am afraid time will be the ultimate healing this wound needs. It does get better. I know you are out there. KNOW that YOU have friends here in this town that are thinking about you as you go on this journey. Friend.
Life passes us by all too quickly. There is really and truly no time to hold resentment. It is a waste of your spirit and makes one seem weighted down. Let it go, see what happens and I think you may find that there is truly light at the end of the tunnel waiting for you to go through to the other side of this horrible place you are in. Makes me think of the movie Beetlejuice when the couple feels they must go outside and knowing that there was nothing outside that door but red hot sun and sand and that horrible worm with all the teeth. Why torture yourself when you don't have to. Stay close to what is good and warm and homey, if only for a little while. Until the battle wounds heal and you are ready to go out there and fight through the muck to get to the good stuff.
