When I started this blog. I was in search of what made me eat. I actually detailed my life in order to document online what I remember about it. To recount all the maybes of life allowing me to think about it. Think about it. What triggered my addiction? Coming to terms with the awful truth that the marriage I had so cherished was dead in the water was very hard for me. I was to be married forever.
I am gladly not today. I am not married. I have no plans on being married. I have a wonderful partner who I know y'all want to know about. Woooooooo weeeeeee...Is it a story to tell. I will one day. I know this. I am recording in my mind. I have been able to for the first time in my life been able to maintain a lower weight. I fluctuate by 10 lbs now not 30-50. That was my goal with this blog. See who I was. See where the problems came from. I thought for sure I would find it hidden deep within my childhood but, no, it was sitting right next to me. A relationship that had been long severed. I hung on for the sake of marriage. The idea of family. As I sacrificed myself to do so.
Now...Kids are great. We have our own place. Share custody 50\50. Living a lot differently now. No cable no internet. Not another minute of my life will be wasted watching another more exciting life on T.V. Not gonna happen.
Needing to write more often. Thinking of starting a poetry journal. Been a long time. As I go if I find that I have any sort of talent for it at all. I will post here. This ought to be fun. I miss pouring myself all over these pages. Regrouping. Not wanting to leave this blog. Eye are upon it. Trying to breakthrough the fears of what others think.
